Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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