sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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