i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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