I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
