Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
