Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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