The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
