all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
