9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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