I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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