I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
