So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am naked and annoyed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize