I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
