dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
