Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
