'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
