Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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