I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize