i don't like sucking hair
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
