Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
