thus making me awesome and them whores
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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