i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
