i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
