I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
