Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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