Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
