We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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