Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
