Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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