I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
