the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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