I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
