so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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