He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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