my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
