Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize