my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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