Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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