We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
