The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
