she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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