i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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