So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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