I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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