I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
