like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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