we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
