yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you win again, gameday.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
