My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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