drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
