Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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