You can't motorboat a personality
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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