dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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