You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't special order awesome
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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