the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My dick has a subreddit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
