how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
