i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
