I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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