I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
