i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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