Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
