And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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